Gryffindors Gone Mad (ON HITAUS)
by A Writer Among Thousands
Summary: Sequel to Detention Lines Exactly how do you manage to slip Snape a love potion? Or feel up Professor Lupin in class? Or perhaps send suggestive pictures to a certain professor?
1. Prologue In the begining

_**Here it is. I'll make this short and sweet so read, review and tell me what your favourite detention line was.**_

_**Disclaimer: I'm only gonna say this once, I don't own it if you recognise it. **_

_**If you haven't read Detention Lines here's some information to ease the confusion. (But I recommend you should!)**_

_**Sirius came back out the veil when Voldemort was killed in Harry's seventh year. All the light side and even a few slytherin children (Blaise and Draco) helped defeat Voldemort by shooting loadsa spells from different directions. None of the light side died as this happened at the start of the battle. Voldemort only had four hourcruxes, the ring, the diary, the locket and the cup. Fred and George decide that since Hogwarts was harm free that they would complete their seventh year. Some of the students that were already at Hogwarts came back for a proper last year and the golden trio came back for their seventh year aswell. Angelina, Katie and Alicia were talked into this by Fred and George. So now I've bored you to death you can read and review!**_

In the beginning…

"Ginny, guess what?" said Fred, or George, I wasn't sure.  
>"What, you stole my badge because I can't find it!" I said, my stress levels rising with every moment.<br>"It's on your bed, and we -"  
>"After a lot of sweet talking Minnie -"<br>"Are allowed to finish our seventh year,"  
>"With Katie, Alicia and Angelina -"<br>"Great right?"  
>Once the realisation hit me I said, "Your not actually going to try to learn anything are you?" they shook their heads, "so this year is just a year to annoy your littlest brother and your favourite sister?"<br>"Ah, no, you see our favourite sister will be helping us out, weather she wants to or not." said Fred, smirking.  
>"and now that she is head girl, we wont get into that much trouble, a shame that prick is head boy." finished George.<br>"Hey, that prick was fighting for us and he helped more than enough last year. Anyway we should go to the station, are we apperating?"  
>Fred gave a brief nod before ducking out the door find mum. George and I started the long trudge downstairs.<p>

It was chaos at the bottom, Hermione was ordering Ron and Harry about, making sure they had everything, mum was talking to Fred, making him promise to try and get more NEWTS than he did OWLS, and Alicia, Angelina and Katie were standing in the middle of the madness, looking slightly bemused.  
>A cry from mum silenced the room, "gosh, is that the time, we have to go everyone apperate to kings cross, platform 9 and ¾."<br>"Mum, I think we know where to go." smirked Ron. Making Hermione bat him with her tiny beaded bag (small but deadly as we joked about it, you could almost hear the textbooks falling over in there).  
>"Move, now, we can't be late." said mum, obviously flustered.<br>Lots of loud 'pops' filled the room, I hugged George, it was a more fun way to go and we reappeared in front of the train, and we saw more red head's boarding.  
>"Come on George, we'll miss the train!" I laughed dragging him and my case along. Mum gave us a quick hug and a teary smile and we went straight to the heads room, with everyone else.<p>

XxXxXxX

About an hour later and we were all bored out of our minds. Dean and Seamus had joined us and we were all having little conversation until Ron said, "why don't we play truth or dare, I mean it's the last time were going to Hogwarts on the train." murmurs of 'yeah' and 'why not' went round the group.  
>Just as he finished Draco and Blaise came into the compartment,<br>"I heard 'truth or dare' and I'm in" said Blaise, Draco following a little less enthusiastically, "who's first?"  
>"Ron, 'cos he's the craziest", said Harry, moving closer to everyone else.<br>"Hey, I know lots of people who are crazier than me, I grew up with brothers that finish each others sentences!" said Ron, not bothered in the slightest.  
>"Can we play now I'm bored", whined Dean, Seamus in agreement.<br>"Okay, okay Fred truth or dare?" asked Ron facing one twin. The other answered.  
>"Dare, duh."<br>"Umm…. Oh, I dare you to make all the professors wear hats and tails for."  
>"Now, that is a challenge, I accept." smiled Fred, his plotting smile, "George, my twin, truth or dare?"<br>"Dare, you should know that by now!" answered George, smirking.  
>"Right, I dare you to get us some firewhiskey, pronto!"<p>

George apperated away and was back in a few minutes juggling a lot of wine holders, full of firewhiskey bottles, " I got one for everyone so pass 'em round."

"Ah Draco, Truth or Dare then?" said George, taking a long sip.  
>"Dare." Draco was nearly a quarter of the way through his bottle, but sounded totally sober.<br>"Snog ginners." replied George, obviously not thinking.  
>"Fine then." and Draco walked over and kissed me, it was soft and gentle, not what I expected. We must have been going for a few minutes when some one coughed. Harry. Followed by a murderous look from Ron.<br>"What?" I asked, deciding to have a little fun. "He is an amazing kisser you know", drawing out the syllables for exaggeration.  
>"So, Ginny dear, truth or Dare?" asked Draco taking a swig of his drink.<br>"Dare, you obviously don't know me that well."  
>"I dare you to…" and he whispered the rest in my ear.<br>"Now that is mean, and degrading and just plain cruel, of course I'll do it", I laughed.

XxXxXxX

Within ten minutes the room was more than plastered, and finding anything funny, no one e when Sirius fell in to the room, apparently he had been pushed by a smirking Remus ( professor Lupin now I guess) took one look at the empty firewhiskey bottles and fled from the room, dragging professor Lupin with him.  
>Harry called out to them "I swear to drunk I'm not god!" This sent us all into fits of laughter.<p>

Hours and hours passed, dares got wilder and worse, nobody wanted to disappoint and pick truth, so they just dared each other, until the train stopped in hogsmede. Ginny and Draco went to the first years, still laughing about some of the dares while the rest went in the carriages to the castle. All of which were clearly drunk, not able to walk in a straight line. Little did the students know, Hogwarts was about to get wilder than usual.

_**So there it is, chapter one of Gryffindors gone mad, what did you think? I decided to change the title at the last minute because I personally think it suit's the story better. Also I just couldn't resist Harry's line because I love it! So tell me what you think!**_

_**Review cos you love mee!**_

_**Lupinsgirlxx**_


	2. Potions just got a lot more interesting

_**So literally all the rest of the chapters don't correspond with the train chapter because that was a prologue. So if you aren't wearing socks put some on because I intend to make you laugh them off! **_

_**Read and review xx**_

_1. I must not make bets on who can slip professor Snape a love potion in class. - forge Weasley  
><em>_2. I must not laugh at professor Snape's attempts to snog the living daylights out of Marcus flint - gred Weasley  
><em>_3. I must not yell out in class "get away from me you greasy tosser" when professor Snape backfires and tries to snog me, no matter how life or death the situation is. - Angelina Johnson_

"Hey Fred, you know you have to do that dare today right, we've all got double potions after breakfast", said Harry smirking as he dropped himself down next to Ron and heaped nearly everything in sight on his plate.  
>"Already got it covered. Slipped it in his wine under his desk last night, thought I woke half the castle mind you, but that was the drunkenness talking", said Fred whilst wolfing down some bacon.<br>"Well okay then, since I can almost feel Snape's glare from here I'll be at potions."

* * *

><p>Within a few minutes everyone was sat in their seats cringing away from the teacher, even the slytherins, it was apparent that today professor Snape was angry and agitated at everything. He barked orders for the class to make the draught of living death, to brush up what they should have known in their sixth year.<p>

Moments later there had been an explosion from the back, without even looking up Professor Snape had yelled "Longbottom you dithering idiot by now you should know not to add boomslang skin to that particular potion. That is the only thing to make it explode. If you were mere seconds further into that potion you could have severely injured most of you class mates. Out, OUT!" By now Neville was running for the door, closely followed by Snape.

The silence was broken by Fred Weasley "so who wants to bet I can get something in Snape's drink?"  
>"A Knut" called the voice of Blaise Zanabi.<br>"Aww live a little Blaise, nine sickles." Said Alicia Spinnet.  
>"I bet a galleon that Ginny couldn't do It." called the dignified, if slightly hung-over, voice of Draco Malfoy.<br>"Your on", said Ginny in her most business like manor.

Pulling something from her bag Ginny ran to the front of the room and slipped behind Snape's desk. She emerged second later with a triumphant smile before waltzing back to her place, just as professor Snape stalked back into the room,  
>"What are you all staring at? Back to work!" he said in a voice that held a clear authority.<br>He sat himself back at his desk trying to finish some third year papers he had made them hand in before breakfast. Glancing up at the class he noted that they were all occupied with something or other. Looking at the goblet filled with a deep red substance he thought _one sip wont hurt, just to calm the nerves. _And he lifted the goblet to his lips.

Meanwhile Fred and George had been having a whispered conversation at the back of the room, oblivious to everything else in the room.  
>"What would the effect of two love potions do to him?" asked Fred.<br>"Probably double the effect, hey! Look, its Marcus flint, please tell me he's not back aswell." hissed George, a plan already forming in his mind.  
>"I like the way you think brother, now do you have any of our special impression fireworks on you?" replied Fred, in tune with his twin.<br>"Yes. Yes I do." and George handed the firework to Fred.

Ginny winked giving the signal that Snape had drank some of the potion and Fred took aim.  
>He counted in his head for the potion to kick in<em>. five, four, three, two, one, action<em> and lobbed the firework directly into Marcus' potion. The thing started to bubble frantically and everyone ducked under their desks apart from Marcus who was stood their fumbling with the cauldron. Snape rose from his desk, his face livid with rage, luckily he looked straight at Marcus and instantly the anger melted away to be replaced by what might be called a loved up smile. Again the class backed away, seeing professor Snape smile was almost as bad as seeing him angry.

Severus glided up to Marcus," hello handsome, wanna come for a ride?" Snape's usual lazy drawl had taken a slight seductive note as he slunk toward the befuddled boy. He didn't stand a chance as the teacher squashed his lips against Marcus'. This effect went on for a few seconds until the silence was broken by a loud laugh from George Weasley. In this time Marcus had managed to heave Snape off himself and pushed him in the direction of Angelina Johnston. Snape had puckered up to kiss Angelina but she was having none of it.

"Get away from me you greasy tosser", she yelled moving frantically backward but her yell seemed to awaken professor Snape from the potions control.  
>By this time the majority the class was in peals of laughter, unable to stop but professor Snape's voice echoed through the dungeons and lower half of the castle.<p>

"DETENTION!"

_**Well what do you think? Marcus came back this year because in my universe he was trapped in the vanishing cabinet for three quarters of Harry's fifth year. This would mean he still needed to finish his final year but with all the Voldemort stuff, that was a hard thing to do.**_

_**So review and tell me if you're still wearing socks or if I need more funny. Bear in mind I have been in planet vampire diaries for the past week, and I really cant resist Damon Salvatore, yum!**_


	3. That doesn't usually happen at breakfast

_**Here we go, chapter two. Tell me what you think so far!  
><strong>__**I've got really bad writers block so that's why this chapter is shorter than usual. But no-one cares about that so here!**_

_4. I must not try to feel Harry potter up in the great hall as the pure shock can send him to jump into the nearest persons arms. - Romilda Vane  
><em>_5. I must not jump into Malfoy's arms and scream "save me you great prat" no matter how frightened I am of any other students. - Harry Potter  
><em>_6. I must not use interhouse unity as my excuse for jumping into Malfoy's arms - Harry Potter  
><em>_7. I must not threaten to kill Vane and Potter if they anger me, ever in desperate circumstances - Draco Malfoy_

Romilda Vane sauntered into the great hall for breakfast. She was dressed in what she called her usually Hogwarts uniform. This meant a tight grey tube skirt exactly seven inches above the knee, the standard school shirt with the top three buttons undone, her tie as short as possible and her robes casually thrown on top. Her friends had tried to tell her that this was a bad idea, but since when did she listen?

There was friendly chatter coming from all directions, even the slytherins. This was exactly what happened every morning in the great hall since her third year when Harry defeated he who must not be named. Looking for a place to sit at the Gryffindor table she noticed Ginny Weasley get up from her place next to Harry. _Perfect_. She slid down next to Harry.

Flipping her long, black curly hair over her shoulder she said "Hi Harry!" with lots of enthusiasm.  
>At this moment Harry was deep in conversation with Ron and didn't notice Romilda until she tapped him on the shoulder.<br>"Oh, hey Romilda, didn't see you there, so is there anything you want?" said Harry, a slight blush reaching up his cheeks when he noticed her uniform.  
>"No, no I was just saying hi." she said, playing it cool.<br>"Right, so hi then", and he turned back to Ron who was staring at Harry with a look that said 'what the hell man?'

Romilda was shocked, she had put all that effort into making a complete sentence in front of him - a thing she hadn't been able to do since the love potion incident. So she decided to up the stakes. Casually reaching under the table she gently, but with a deliberate motion stroked Harry's crotch. His response was instant; he leapt from the table and landed into the passing Draco Malfoy's arms.  
>"Save me you great prat, she's gone bloody barmy!" said Harry, only half aware of exactly who's arms he had jumped into.<p>

The scene had attracted some of the great halls attention and those who had been watching were now laughing their heads off, but Draco's scream put an end to that.  
>"WHAT THE FUCK POTTER!" this got the attention of the teachers table.<br>"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR VANE?" yelled Harry his face red with anger and other things.  
>"I SWEAR TO FUCK I'M GONNA KILL YOU VANE!" Romilda, having never saw Draco angry before, fled.<br>"You too Potter, three seconds until you're going to be fucking dead." Draco's voice had taken on a calming tone, which frightened Harry a lot. So he ran. Straight into Professor McGonagall.

She was In the middle of questioning Romilda vane.  
>"Miss Vane why were you running from the hall?"<br>"Because Draco started threatening Me." she replied, still slightly shaken.  
>"Yeah, because you stared to feel me up in the middle of breakfast!" clearly, Harry was still a bit flushed.<br>"Aah, Mr. Potter why did you decide to jump into Mr Malfoy's arms, I was under the impression you two weren't the best of friends. So would you care to explain?" Her curt Scottish accent made this even more embarrassing for both Harry and Draco.  
>"Interhouse unity?" Harry mumbled.<br>"What was that Mr. Potter? "Her voice had now taken a tone of disbelief.  
>"I said Interhouse unity Professor." Harry cringed away from Professor McGonagall.<p>

"Miss Vane, Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, detention."

_**So there it is! Not my favourite one yet but was it yours? I am sorry that it's late! Xx  
>review or I'll set a rabid snape on you!<strong>_


	4. Don't mess with a Weasley

_**A/n: So here goes the one I forgot! I thought It had uploaded, but I must have missed it out, so forgive me! This one corresponds to the last chapter and if you don't like Ginny/Draco wait for the next chapter to be up! I want to say thanks for all the people who have put me on story/author alert, my phone likes to tell me this in the middle of class… but you guys are worth it!**_

_8. I must not hex my brother no matter what insulting name he calls me. - Ginny Weasley  
><em>_9. I must not call my sister insulting names. Her love life is none of my business. - Ron Weasley  
><em>_10. I must not run around the castle at night screaming about how my but is on fire, not even if it is. Ron Weasl__ey  
><em>_11. I must not start a duel with the weaslette outside of transfiguration, even if she stole my man. - Pansy Parkinson_

Ginny Weasley had just wandered out of the great hall. She had been having a conversation with Harry for the duration of breakfast about the Holyhead harpies as Ginny had received a letter from them before the start of term asking if she was able to join their team after she finished Hogwarts. She was thrilled by the letter but it didn't seem right. After the war she wanted to help, not as an auror, but maybe as a healer.

She was contemplating this whilst walking to transfiguration and was so deeply submerged in her thoughts she didn't notice the strong arms pull her into the abandoned classroom.  
>"Hey, I'll give you a detention, let me go!" Ginny yelled, unable to see her attacker.<br>"But I thought you liked spending time with Me." he turned her round so she was staring at the pouting face of Draco Malfoy.  
>"Don't scare me like that! It could have been anyone, next time ill give you a bat-bogey-hex!" said Ginny fuming.<br>Draco pulled her into a kiss which she automatically deepened. They stood there for a while, kissing each other but their silence was interrupted as Ron weasley walked past with Harry, directly in front of Professor McGonagall.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?" yelled Harry, his face turning, for the second time that morning, beetroot red.  
>"MALFOY GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" Yelled the explosive voice of an irate Ron Weasley. This of course attracted the attention of professor McGonagall who was once again glaring at both Harry and Ron.<br>"Why must you two boys make such a farce?" she asked.  
>"Him! Malfoy. He was snogging my little sister!" said Ron, still both angry and bright red.<br>"Ron I'm of age you know I actually am allowed to kiss my boyfriend!" spoke Ginny, who had been listening to the conversation so far.  
>"You're what?" seethed Ron.<br>"I would have thought you knew of the term boyfriend Weasley, it is a symbol of closeness between two people." drawled Draco, in this usual slytherin manor.  
>"What did you do to my sister Malfoy? Did you drug her so she'd become your prostitute?" snarled Ron in pure rage.<br>"Mr. Weasley! Detention for that language." said McGonagall, her vocals shocked at what she was hearing.  
>"How dare you… RICTUSEMPRA!" yelled Ginny, her wand pointed at Ron.<br>"Protego!"  
>"Flipendo!"<br>"Levicorpus!"  
>"Tarantallegra!"<br>"ENOUGH! The both of you stop it. Detention in my office 7pm sharp." said McGonagall's crisp scottish accent.

Ron had stormed out of the abandoned room, Harry on his tail. But no sooner had Ginny stepped out she was met by the glaring, pug-faced Pansy Parkinson  
>"Weaslette! How dare you steal my man, Arachnida!" spiders began streaming out of Pansy's wand.<br>_God, I wish Ron was here to see that, he would've screamed blue murder! _Thought Ginny.  
>"Finite." announced the crisp voice of professor McGonagall.<br>"Miss Parkinson detention with Mr and Miss Weasley. 7pm, don't keep me waiting." and with that she walked calmly into the class.  
>"If you all would turn to page 276 please." and the lesson began.<p>

XxXxXxX

Later that evening the paintings in the corridor outside of professor Sprout's office were awoken by a loud piercing scream.  
>Professor Sprout rushed out of her office to see the sight of Ronald Weasley running down the corridor clutching his buttocks, which was sprouting vivid purple flames.<br>"Detention Mr Weasley" she called after the screaming teenager. _The boy should know by know not to mess with his sister _she thought,returning to her marking.

_**So there we go the next one's up! What do you think? Again not my favourite… but its coming up soon! **_


	5. What sharp teeth you have professor

_**A/n Yay! three chapters up ! But I still don't have many reviews… **__**But thankyoooouuuu so much to those awesome people that have reviewed, read, or put me as a favourite/alert! Oh, and if I know any lyrics that go with the chapters then I'll post them too! **__**So in my head this one had me cracking up the way I saw it , hopefully the same to you!**_

**Teeth- Lady gaga  
><strong>**  
>Show me your teeth<br>****Just tell me when  
><strong>**(Show me your teeth)  
><strong>**Open your mouth boy  
><strong>**(Show me your teeth)  
><strong>**Show me what ya got  
><strong>**(Show me your teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth)**

_12. I must not put my hands in professor Lupin's mouth to see if he has fangs normally. - Alicia Spinnet  
><em>_13. I must not kiss professor Lupin after I've inspected the fang issue, even if it's a dare. - Alicia Spinnet_

Alicia Spinnet was wandering to DADA with Fred and George. It was certainly an interesting way to go, as the two were doing a sort of mind reading conversation, which to put it nicely, they were shit at. One would look at the other and do a sort of half-grimacing smile, and the other would look eagerly at most of the sets of armour.

Rounding the corner she saw Professor Lupin waiting outside the classroom door, she walked past and sat in her usual seat, slap bang in the middle. There was no point sitting at the front because Professor Lupin treated everyone equally. But if they were obnoxious, not pointing any fingers at the slytherins of course.

"Now we will be having a revision lesson today so please get out your textbooks from last year and read and review s much as you can, if you cant understand anything come to my desk and we can discuss what ." he said. There were small black bags beneath his eyes and his usual, charming smile. When he had taught in her fifth year he was the schoolgirl crush of most of the girls, but Alicia knew it from the start, he was gay as a maypole and currently shagging Professor Black, which obviously, none of the students knew about.

"Hey, Alicia, when are you gonna do your dare? It has to be today right!" whispered Katie bell, of whom Alicia shared a desk with.  
>"Well, off I go then" smirked Alicia as she cautiously rose to the front.<br>"Excuse me sir, can I have a moment of your time?" she asked, he had to look up or she couldn't do the dare.  
>"Yes miss Spinnet, what seems to be the problem?" In any other circumstances that would have made her swoon, but now she had to fight back the giggles.<br>"Umm, can I see your teeth?" she mumbled, knowing he would hear.  
>His eyes widened in disbelief, "Miss Spinnet that is highly inappropriate, return to your seat please!"<br>"I'm sorry professor but I have to do this, please tell me you don't bite" and reached her hand inside his mouth carefully searching for any over large canines. Lupin had widened his mouth in confusion and was now frozen in shock.

Alicia removed her hand and said to Katie "They're just a little sharper than ours, but It is just after the full moon."  
>And with that she walked back to her desk.<br>"Detention miss Spinnet, I can't allow you to do that." he said, recovering from the shock.  
>"No probs, something to do, well I must be off, bonswa."<br>She gathered her stuff, and sauntered away, that is after she gave professor lupine a quick peck on the cheek and continued sauntering, not noticing that her Professor was back in relapse.

_**A/n sooo there we go, sorry its shorter than usual but now I'm trying to upload more chapter more quickly. **__**This is like a pre-birthday present to you, because it's my birthday tomorrow**__**. **__**Reviews make … me have a great birthday? **_


	6. Just another morning, right?

_**A/n here we go another one out anyone found a favourite yet? Did I put them as you thought them? Tell me in reviews! And sorry If's been a while but I have had really bad writers block so you can thank my chemical romance for this chapter, because I've been listening to their music non-stop. So if it sucks… **_

**Dirty picture - Kesha.**

**So take a dirty picture for me  
><strong>**Take a dirty picture  
><strong>**Just take a dirty picture for me  
><strong>**Take a dirty picture  
><strong>**Just send the dirty picture to me  
><strong>**Send the dirty picture  
><strong>**Just send the dirty picture to me  
><strong>**Send the dirty picture **

_14. I must not send a picture of my lips to professor Snape with a note asking if he want's a blowjob. - Ginny Weasley  
><em>_15. I must not start yelling at Ginny in the great hall. - Hermione Granger  
><em>_16. We must not start yelling at our sister in the great hall. Ron, Fred and George Weasley._

Ginny Weasley had held the same devious smirk for the entire walk from her dorm to the middle of the Gryffindor table in the great hall. Her classmates knew this meant trouble as Ginny had become more rebellious every year by playing more pranks, but still holding her prefect status. She still got either E's or O's as her grades, but that didn't mean she had to be a killjoy.

"You've been smirking for ages Gin, what did you do?" asked Ron.  
>"You'll see, oh look there's the mail!" she replied, not totally paying attention.<p>

A large, sleek black owl with a thin cream envelope landed on the head table, right in front of Professor Snape. He opened it and shooed the bird away, whilst absentmindedly taking a big sip out of his goblet. His eye's scanned the paper, before managing to cover most of the table in front of him with pumpkin juice.  
>"What is the meaning of this!" he raged as he made his way over to the Gryffindor table, or more specifically toward Ginny Weasley.<br>"Would you care to explain this?" his voice seething with venom.  
>"Well, it has details, an address so all you need to do is reply, usually people use the words 'yes' or 'no'. Said Ginny, in her well practiced oblivious tone.<br>"How dare you assume I would accept such advances from a student!" yelled professor Snape, his face beet red, it nearly matched Ginny's hair, but for stating so, Fred Weasley got an acidic glare from said Professor.  
>"What are you arguing about?" asked Harry, mildly amused.<br>The paper slipped from Snape's hand so Ron took this opportunity to read it.  
>"What the hell Ginny, how could you say that you… You ..!" Ron had lapsed into silent cursing; only those near him could decipher the wide vocabulary he was using.<br>By this point Fred, George, Harry and Hermione had read the paper and three out of four were yelling loudly at Ginny, whilst Harry was in fits of laughter, with tears rolling down his face. The other houses just looked on at the madness unfolding.

"ENOUGH!" the angry shout came from an irate Professor Snape. "Weasleys, Granger, Potter, DETENTION"  
>This was met with a cry of outrage as Hermione couldn't believe she had got a detention, and the rest were arguing for Harry's sake.<br>"You can't do that!" yelled Ron.  
>"Sir, you can't give him detention for laughing, it's not fair!" said George.<br>"That is true Mr. Weasley. Severus let the boy off, he did no wrong" came the wise voice of Albus Dumbledore.  
>"Fine, the rest of you detention. My office. Seven o'clock sharp." said a disgruntled Professor Snape.<br>This was met with nods and murmurs of being able to get a detention before first lesson.

_**A/n: almost forgot my manners! Thanks to: Linnup, who hasn't given up on my horrible updating, MarauderDraconis, you say nice things, TheShadowGates and awprincess98. Thanks! x**_


	7. The many uses of balloons

_**A/n: short and sweet this time, thanks to those who review, or read silently, and please, if this is an epic fail, please tell mee! Also in this story the door is on the floor with a ladder, like in the book.**_

**Born to be wild - Steppenwolf**

**Like a true nature's child  
><strong>**We were born, born to be wild  
><strong>**We can climb so high  
><strong>**I never wanna die**

_17. I must not attach magical balloons to my robes and float myself up to divination, as well as yelling to the whole room. - George Weasley  
><em>_18. I must not fake possession and recite a false prophecy in the middle of a divination test for extra marks. - Fred Weasley  
><em>_19. I must not float along the halls of Hogwarts pretending to be a ghost; people do not find it amusing to be hit in the face with a foot. - George Weasley_

"Quickly children, come up as fast as you can, the north wind spells trouble for those near the earth" said Professor Trelawney in her dazed, dreamy voice.  
>The seventh years all crowded into the room, it was four or five to a table and apart from the strong smell of incense and other herbs, there was a tremendous heat, it was enough to make anyone drowsy.<br>"Where is Mr. Weasley, the other one?" asked Professor Trelawney after various students had pointed to Ron and Fred.  
>"Don't you know?" yelled someone.<br>"My dear, the seeing eye only shows certain things now get out your quills and prepare to start our little test" said Professor Trelawney, putting away her china cups.  
>She handed out the papers to everyone and took her seat at the front of the room, gazing dreamily at her crystal ball.<p>

Suddenly a large crash came from the door on the floor, a bright red head poked out and began rising up. Soon the whole body of George Weasley came floating into the room, "GREETINGS ALL HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE DAY?"  
>"Mr. Weasley, please, shouting does no good to the inner eye." whispered Professor Trelawney.<br>"BUT PROFESSOR, SNAPE PUT A SONOROUS CHARM ON ME BECAUSE I WAS MUTTERING TOO MUCH!" he yelled.  
>"Please, if you cannot be quiet leave this classroom at once, and use normal ways to class, I am afraid the way you have entered this class is against the school rules, as I foresaw, detention Mr. Weasley." said Professor Trelawney, with a knowing look in her bugged out eyes.<br>"FINE THEN" stormed George as he started to pop some of the balloons so he could go back down, whilst having a pouting puppy look on his face.

Floating through the castle was actually more interesting than walking, for one, you could pretend you were a ghost and kick slytherins in the head, and well you could kick anyone in the head because they couldn't reach you. Then you could float around outside of Snape's office and make ghostly noises, just to freak him out. But then if you were gilding about in mid air and you manage to narrowly Miss Professor Flitwick's head, all the fun had to end.  
>"Mr. Weasley, what do you think you are doing?" said an astounded Professor Flitwck.<br>"well you see I didn't want to walk up the ladder to divination so I decided to float myself up there, but Snape caught me whispering in potions and put a sonorous on me so then I got told off for yelling and that's why I'm floating about, apparently the sonorous wasn't permanent!" said George, he obviously hadn't said much in a long period of time so this was a nice relief for him.  
>"Mr. Weasley, detention, you cannot be allowed to kick other students in the head." said Flitwck, with a smile on his face, but a very serious note in his voice.<p>

XxXxXxX

Meanwhile in divination Fred Weasley had become bored, and when one of the Weasley twin's was bored, a catastrophe almost always followed.  
>Fred stood up, stiff as a board, and with a glazed look in his eyes and took a deep breath in, "There is one among us, they are on their final days, only fate can tell them what shall await." he rasped.<br>"Why Mr. Weasley, you felt it didn't you, the inner eye, top marks top marks, class we may have the next seer among us, now please hand in you tests and make your way out of the class room" Professor Trelawney's dazed voice rang through the classroom.  
>"See Katie, I told you I could trick the old bat!" said Fred in triumph.<br>"Fred Weasley, if you could join your brother in detention tonight, the inner eye sees everything." said Professor Trelawney.

_**A/n so what do you think? Reviews make me faster! **_


	8. Voldemort has a soul?

_**A/n yeah, I know its tiny, but there was only one major event, but now there's two out in one night I expect lots of lovely reviews, hell, since I'm in a good mood why don't you all tell me your favourite character in the whole of Harry Potter, if I have lots of plot bunnies there might be a good story up in a week or less! **_

_**IMPORTANT: I lost the edited copy I had up here last time when I was sorting out the chapters, so the dialogue at the end has been remade.**_

_20. I must not try to sell the dead pieces of Voldemort's soul on eBay, even if I have over 300 bids. Ginny Weasley_

"Gin, what are you doing?" asked Ron Weasley, from the corner of the Gryffindor common room, near the fire.  
>"Selling things on this really cool muggle website, eBay, Hermione hooked up a laptop for me so it doesn't break." replied Ginny distractedly; she was focusing really hard on the website - as was the huge sniggering crowd behind her.<p>

Ron got up and wandered over, some of the younger students moved, as he was a prefect and a saviour of the wizard world. He stared intensely at the screen for a moment and then turned to his sister and yelled in shock, "Ginny, you can't sell Voldemort's soul on eBay, it could have unthinkable consequences, not to mention that he's long dead."  
>"Calm it Ron, it's just a dare remember." she replied still more focused on a number that was rapidly rising on the screen.<br>"What's that? Asked Ron, indicating to the number.  
>"Oh, that's how many bids I've got, at the moment I have… three hundred and seventy two, nicely done." said Ginny, smirking.<br>"You know if I had known that was what you were going to do I wouldn't have helped" huffed Hermione, but a hug from Ron lightened her up.

Just at that moment, 11:03pm, Professor Sirius Black decided to make an appearance. Strolling through the portrait hole into what he would have assumed was an empty common room, he got a large shock, "what are you all doing up?" he asked, slowly moving to a spot behind Ginny.  
>"Ah, selling Voldemort's soul, wouldn't have thought he had one, we did something like that to James, quite funny, but the owl wouldn't deliver him" he shot a smile towards Harry. "However I have to stop the party, it's my job now, but I would say carry on in the morning, but miss Weasley has a detention scheduled." and he wandered off, a few lustrous glances following him.<p>

"He's so cute" sighed Romilda.  
>"Yeah, and gay as a maypole" stated Harry.<br>"Your Lying." said Romilda, in an offencive tone.  
>"Trust me on this one, I walked in on him and Proffesor Lupin in bed, that was awkward..." grimaced harry, not wanting to relive the moment.<br>A voice came from the otherside of the door, "You two do realise that Mr. 'gay as a maypole' is listening, and Harry, I prefer my private life private."

_**A/n Yay! My favourite character is in! And how fit he seems, now I'm sort of disappointed I made him gay, I mean think of all the possibilities! But then it goes with one of the lines and I am not a Remus/Dora fan, no offence intended. Xx**_


	9. Someone needs dancing lessons

_**A/n sorry I took ages, but now I have no more school so I can post more, but I really want some more reviews! So could you give me that for Christmas? (Or I'll send you a hobo with a spoon to poke the shit out of you).**_

**Rihanna - S&M**

**Feels so good being bad (Oh oh oh oh oh)**  
><strong>There's no way I'm turning back (Oh oh oh oh oh)<strong>  
><strong>Now the pain is my pleasure 'cause nothing could measure (Oh oh oh oh oh)<strong>

_21. I must not start doing a strip tease for Katie Bell in DADA because it is off-putting for the other students. - Fred weasley_  
><em>22. I must not make catcalls when I see some one doing something inappropriate in class. - Blaise Zanabi<em>

"This is only your second defence against the dark art's lesson this year, can we please have some more enthusiasm?" groaned a tired Professor Lupin. He hadn't got any sleep the previous night due to his colleague, and lover, Sirius black, trying to mark homework in the same room as him was near impossible, as he managed to always be bouncing about the place.  
>Remus made a mental note to never let Sirius in the kitchens by himself again, you only make that mistake once, or in James' case twice.<p>

"C'mon Forge, I believe you still have a few dares left to complete, I mean, you don't want the forfeit do you?" said George to his twin brother, since the start of the dares that threat had worked wonders on anyone with cold feet.  
>Fred paled, "and off to livening up the class I go!" he said rising from his seat, "hum something good then"<br>Fred sauntered his way to the front row, where Katie bell was sat, and slowly started to gyrate his hips in front of her. At the back of the room George and lee Jordan could be heard singing 'da-da-da-daa-da-daa-daaa' much to the rest of the class's bewilderment.

Fred had now whipped his tie off and was currently slapping it against his thigh, in a manner. He then chucked the red and gold tie in the direction of Blaise Zanabi, who caught it and swung it above his head and made inappropriate wolf whistles. This started off the rest of the class with whistles and cat calls. Fred had managed to undo five of the buttons on his shirt before Professor Lupin intervened.

"Some people in this room may want to see more of you Mr Weasley, however I certainly don't, sorry but detention." said the Professor, who had been watching the act from his desk. "And you too Mr Zanabi, you started the wolf whistles that seemed to last a decade.  
>Remus paced back to his desk, "just like Sirius…" he muttered under his breath.<p>

_**A/n It's tiny, I know, but they are short oneshots.. thanks for the reviews, all 11... but could I have some more for christmas? just telling me that you're still there? :P remember, I have a hobo, and I'm not afraid to use it...**_


	10. Teachers like dog collars?

_**A/n right next one up, not much to say really, apart from, read, review, and don't make me set a hobo on you… yada yada… and before I forget, I said I would put lyrics if I found some that fit, and I cant so oh well.**_

**23. I must not sing the words 'and they call it puppy love' every time I pass Professor Black or professor Lupin. - Fred Weasley  
><strong>**24. I must not leave a kinky dog collar on professor black's desk with a note on how to use it. - George Weasley  
><strong>**25. I must not scream and run around Hogwarts because I have a paper cut. - Fred Weasley**

"Good evening, Professor Black" gushed Romilda vane, in a love struck voice.  
>"Good evening, Miss Vane, shouldn't you be in the great hall for dinner?" he replied, casually brushing her off.<br>"Oh… err… I'm on my way… Sir" she responded, sounding flustered.  
>"You're on the seventh floor, on the opposite side to your house common room." he said, a hint of laughter in his voice.<br>"Umm… I got lost sir" she said, dropping the flustered tone for a more seductive one, but that wasn't working either. And because Romilda firmly chose to not believe the rumours that such a fine man was gay, she didn't have a clue that she was fighting a loosing battle.  
>"Anyway, I believe you should make your way to the great hall, Miss Vane, as I have to patrol the seventh floor before dinner." said Professor Black, dismissing her with a wave. She stormed down the corridor, furiously wondering why none of her 'charms' had worked on him, she didn't notice the two bouncing redheads until they all collided.<br>"For fucks sake, watch it!" she sneered, not identifying the two she had bumped into, and continued along to the great hall.

"Hey, look!" whispered Fred, pointing down the passage, "its Padfoot and Moony!"  
>"Are you thinking the same as me?" responded George, in a thoughtful whisper.<br>"Of course, when have I not?" replied Fred, his gaze fixed on the two professors.

With that they both got up and started to stroll down the corridor, arm in arm. As they reached the two teachers they began to sing, or rather scream at the top of their lungs, "AND THEY CALL IT PUPPY LOO-OOOOVEE". The two pranksters proceeded to wink at the professors and continued their stroll down the stairs.  
>"Fred, George!" called Professor Black, in a stern voice.<br>"Yes, sir," they replied, trying to sound as innocent as possible.  
>"As amusing as that little display was Detention, and stay out of my love life." Professor Black winked, and dragged crimson Professor Lupin behind him.<p>

"Well that's another one down, cross it off the list please Forge." said George, in a business like manner.  
>"Now I say," and Fred's voice dropped to a murmur, "that we carry out the next one while everyone is at dinner, that way no-one will see us."<br>"Good plan" whispered George as they slunk back into one of the passage ways that led them to the defence against the dark arts classroom. They snuck into the office and quickly cast a 'muffiato' and scribbled a note before laying down a sparkly, suggestive pink dog collar on the desk.  
>"Footsteps, I hear footsteps!" whisper-screamed Fred.<br>"Quick, um… Apparate!"  
>"Don't you listen to Hermione? We can't Apparate in Hogwarts!" Replied Fred, quoting their friend.<br>"Shit! Then… um… HIDE!" said George in panicked tones.  
>George flung himself under a desk near the centre of the room as an ear piercing scream caught his ears.<br>"What the fuck was that Forge?" yelled George, forgetting the ever nearing footsteps.  
>"I got a paper cut from that fucking note!" cursed Fred, "wait, I can make this work! See you later Gred!"<p>

Fred took off out the room, completely missing the person about to open the door. All you could hear was him screaming "OH THE PAIN! MY FINGER!" holding his pinkie finger high in the air, and that was exactly how Professor Snape found him.  
>"Weasley, detention for making such an ungodly ruckus." Snape sneered, his robes billowing whilst he walked on.<br>Meanwhile, George was contemplating jumping out the window to escape. _What if…I could open the window and levitate myself out…no, he'd catch me, for sure…_ a throat cleared behind him.

"Holy motherfu-" started George, but was unable to as Professor Black started to talk.  
>"I am not here to discuss your mother, so don't finish that sentence" spoke the Professor, a twinkling in his eye.<br>"Well… erm… I'll be going now then…" mumbled George as he made his way to the door.  
>"Oh, not yet I just have a few more things to say." replied Professor Black, that twinkle still residing in his eyes. Once he was sure George was staying put he continued.<br>"I would like to say that for one of your pranks, this wasn't thought out very well, you left yourself without any means of an exit and your brother has just run screaming about the castle."  
>"Yeah, sorry about that, we all know Ron's a little crazy" replied George in a sincere note.<br>"I meant Fred."  
>"Oh"<br>"And another thing you can work on in your detention", the teacher paused for the effect, "both Remus and I prefer red." and with that final word he swept up to his office leaving George to let himself out.

_**A/n so there is another, can I please get some more reviews, my hobo with a spork can now cause a lot more damage (thanks to Linnup for pointing that out) so be warned, he has a spork, and he's not afraid to use it.**_


	11. It was only toxic, blistering slime

_**A/n here's another, I'm sure they're getting crazier, review if you agree, and happy New Year, its 2012! But I'll still get the date wrong ;) **_

**26. I must not leave bottles of shampoo and conditioner on Snape's desk. - Harry Potter  
><strong>**27. I must not plaster Snape's office with notes saying how much he needs the shampoo. - Ron Weasley  
><strong>**28. I must not empty all of Snape's preciously saved ingredients into a cauldron and then put it on maximum heat leaving the damage for Snape to find. - Seamus Finnigan**

"25 house points from Gryffindor, next week all those who can't get past the fifth stage of brewing baneberry potion you can all spend the evening getting it right, and I do mean all of you, dismissed." snarled Professor Snape, frustrated with the lack of performance by both houses, the only person trying was that know-it-all granger, and she was annoying at the least.

"Blimey, Snapes in a strop, he deducted more than fifty points from Gryffindor!" said Harry, on their way back to the Gryffindor common room.  
>"Yeah, the git even took some from slytherin, he's in a really pissy mood today" said Ron, in a frustrated tone.<br>"Yes, but maybe he's sick of you two being complete nuisances!" yelled Hermione, her fury clearly evident.  
>Both Ron and Harry stopped.<br>"You're taking his side? After all we've done together your siding with the great dungeon bat!" raged Ron.  
>"Anyone would think you were shagging him!" commented Harry, snickering at the look on both Hermione and Ron's faces.<br>Hermione shuddered, "That is just wrong; I would never stoop to that level! Oh, gosh I've got to be off to history of magic. Bye guys!" she waved then ran out of the dungeons, she didn't want to be late to one of her lessons.

"Right mate, we've got to do something about Snape, he is driving me barmy!" said Harry, once Hermione was out of earshot. There were only a few Gryffindors left in the dungeon corridors, all of which were in their own conversations.  
>"What about that dare Ginny gave you, y'know the one with the shampoo?" questioned Ron.<br>"Yeah, when can we do it?" asked Harry, deep in thought.  
>"Well he goes to dinner at exactly 6pm, so we could set off to the dungeons, through the back corridor of course, but then we might need a look out." said Ron, having planned this seconds, this was the one thing that had Harry convinced he would make him a great auror.<br>"Well what about Seamus?" suggested Harry.  
>"Yeah!" said Ron, enthusiastically, "oi, Seamus, come here!"<br>"What is it Ron?" asked Seamus.  
>"What do you say to pranking Snape?" said Ron, a knowing smile on his face.<br>"Aye, I'm in, I can do my dare while I'm there." he replied,  
>"Meet us in the common room in about an hour and we'll get started" said Harry, before heading to the library, to get some books he needed for a transfiguration essay.<p>

An hour and a half later had Ron, Harry and Seamus sneaking through the back of tapestries to the potions office. As soon as they were in Harry cast a locking spell on the door and set to work emptying the multiple bags worth of miniature shampoo, the type that was given out in muggle hotels, the only difference was that they had taken a single bottle, given to them by Hermione, and emptied the solution inside to be replaced with cooking oil, which was then duplicated again and again until there were enough bottles to fill two backpacks. He lined all the bottles up on Snapes desk, so they would be among one of the first things he would see when he entered the room after dinner. On the other side of the room, starting at the door, Ron and Seamus were levitating thousands of muggle 'post-it notes' onto the walls, each with a phrase about why Snape desperately needed the shampoo. Ron and Seamus carefully made their way around the room, covering every visible surface with the luminous yellow notes.

"We all done?" asked Harry, once he was finished with the shampoo bottles.  
>"Yeah, think so, how about you Seamus?" said Ron, a triumphant smirk stretching across his face.<br>"Wait, I still have my dare to do, if you two could help me carry the stuff?" asked Seamus, his voice muffled from all the various sized bottles he was carrying. Ron and Harry jumped up from the tables they were sitting on and grabbed some of the bottles.  
>"Have you got any set method of putting them in?" asked Ron; Opening the jars and bottles.<br>"shove 'em in mate, then we run." said Seamus, reminding Ron of the plan that the trio had came up with in the Gryffindor common room, less than two hours ago.

They piled all sorts of ingredients into the large, pewter caldron.  
>"In go the newt's eyeballs" smiled Harry, emptying the contents of a slimy green jar into the caldron.<br>"Bye bye unicorn tail!" saluted Ron as he chucked the whole box in.  
>"Away with you, dried lacewing flies." said Seamus, in a mock scolding tone.<br>The three carried on this way until all the jars, bottles and boxes were empty, and then decided to chuck in them for good measure. Within moments the cauldron began to bubble and a foul smelling green lava type mixture reached the top of the cauldron.  
>"RUN, its gonna blow!" screamed Harry,<br>Without a moments pause the three started to run out of the office, barely managing to undo the locking spell on the door. They ran as fast as they possibly could out of the dungeons and managed to come to a halt in front of Professor Snape.  
>"You three idiots, what in Merlin's name are you running from?" sneered the professor, glaring at the three Gryffindors.<br>"Umm… err…"  
>"Well…."<br>"Eerrrmm…"  
>"You three blithering idiots, answer me." Snape yelled, most definitely not amused.<br>But before anyone could answer the bubbling green slime could be heard making its way up the corridor. The foul odour followed.  
>"Ron, Harry?" asked Seamus quietly.<br>"Yeah?" they responded in the same, anxious tone, due to the toxic slime making its way towards them.  
>"RUN!" Seamus shouted, before taking off at a sprint to the Gryffindor common room. Both Ron and Harry followed closely behind.<br>"Detention boys, my office, 8pm, don't you dare be late!" barked the irate professor, as he began to vanquish the slime so he could get to his office. The only indication that he had made it to the dungeons was the loud scream that could be heard throughout the whole castle.  
>"Must've found the shampoo then." said Seamus, joining in with the rest of their dorms laughter at the girly squeal emitted by their professor.<p>

_**A/n There you go, now you wonderful people I am deciding to call my hobo Larry, all in favour review 'aye' all opposed review another bizarre name, bob not accepted, no offence to all those bobs out there.**_


	12. Mrs Norris supports the Chudley Cannons?

_**A/n not much to say, apart from the fact that team Larry is winning, 2-0, not that anyone particularly cares but thank you That lazy girl called Steve (love the name) and once again Linnup **__**J also no lyrics, cos I can't be arsed!**_

**29. I must not try to shave Mrs Norris and then paint her yellow. - Dean Thomas  
><strong>**30. I must not then try to paint orange polka dots on Mrs Norris. - Dean Thomas  
><strong>**31. I must not capture Mrs Norris in her new state; put her in a large hat and scream "the cat is in the hat!" through the dungeons to wake up professor Snape. - Angelina Johnson **

"Oi, you lot!" yelled Dean Thomas, trying to be heard over the vast amount of people conversing in the Gryffindor common room. A bunch of first years stopped talking and turned to listen to him, as though he was a teacher.  
>"Not you lot, but you really need to pay less attention" he said patronizingly.<br>"OI, SEVENTH YEARS PLUS, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!" screamed Dean, standing on one of the old, beaten up armchairs in front of the fire. There were many responses of 'what' and 'what the hell?' but Dean was happy that he had caught their attention.  
>"Cheers, now, anyone know where Mrs. Norris is?" he asked. Some people sneered and turned away at the strange, absurdness of the question.<br>"She's on the second, no first floor, heading to the dungeons, why do you want to know?" asked Harry, gazing at the marauders map.  
>"thanks Harry, and if I'm not back in about an hour tell Dumbledore that filch is keeping me prisoner and hanging me by my thumbs" said Dean, before grabbing two cans of muggle paint, one a very vibrant orange, the other a lively yellow and walking out of the portrait hole. Behind him you could see a very amused Ron and a confused Harry.<br>"What's he up to?" Harry asked Ron.  
>"Well lets just say Mrs. Norris is going to be a lot easier to spot" he laughed, before turning back to the quidditch weekly special on the Chudley Cannons.<p>

Dean was quietly creeping his way down to the first floor, his arms laden with paint pots and brushes of various different sizes. _Only two floors to go_ he thought. Ducking into a small alcove he let a sigh of relief pass as peeves floated through the empty hallway. Having peeves bother him now would have disastrous results, and probably detention written all over them, in bright orange paint.

About ten minutes later had Dean casting a petrifying spell on Mrs. Norris, putting the paints and brushes on one of the desks in the unused classroom.  
>"Nec capillum" he whispered, trying not to make too much noise.<br>In an instant Mrs Norris' fur had completely disappeared, making her look very rat like.  
>Not wasting any time Dean pried open the lids of the paint and got to work, leaving rather large tell-tale streaks of orange paint across the desk. He was sure to leave a small patch of skin free of all paint, as much as he despised the cat, he didn't want to kill it. In no time at all he was finished.<br>"Finite" he whispered. The cat sprang to life and leaped off the table, and sprinted out the room. Dean followed quickly behind, hoping not to get caught.  
>"Mr Thomas, detention this instant, for doing such unspeakable things to my cat, away with you or you'll be hung up by your thumbs." said the wheezy voice of Mr. filch, who was just outside the classroom door, cradling his cat in his arms. Dean was already running up to the common room.<p>

No sooner had Dean left than the head of Angelina Johnston was peeking round the corner, trying to get at the newly coloured Mrs Norris. She got her chance when filch set her back down on the floor and skulked off to another part of the castle. Creeping up quietly behind the cat she quickly slammed the bag over its head and ran for the dungeons. Whilst doing so she began to shriek,  
>"The cat is in the bag, operation is a go-go!" this didn't go down to well with the newly awoken Severus Snape. He was about to rise from his chambers when the door was flung open, or rather off its hinges and an angry looking cat was deposited inside. He didn't look closely at the student, the only thing he saw was shock at the force of his yell - "DETENTION YOU INSOLENT FOOL!" it was enough to wake the dead, literally, and the portraits were awake. Angelina didn't wait for anything; she just ran all the way to the common room, which was obviously deserted at this time of night, or rather, morning.<p>

_**A/n so it's not my best, and it took forever, mainly because I was way too busy and my art teacher is a prick about setting homework…. But anyway, hooray for Larry, my amazing hobo, and his spork, Julius. So night or morning or whatever time it is to you lot!**_


	13. When in doubt, practice it on Malfoy

_**A/n short one here, but it's kinda funny! also, on a few chapters there have been a couple of minor mistakes with the way the font has been, but bare with me and excuse the irony of the lyrics. Anyway, not much to say so here goes! Thank you for all you favourites, alerts and reviews!**_

**Girlfriend - Avril Lavinge  
><strong>**  
>Hey, hey, you, you,<br>****I don't like your girlfriend  
>No way, no way,<br>****I think you need a new one**

_32. I must not tell the first years to practice their spells on Draco Malfoy 'for the greater good'. - Ron Weasley _

"Mr Weasley, Mr Weasley!" called Professor McGonagall from one of Hogwarts' many staircases.  
>"What did you do now Ronald?" asked Hermione in her criticizing tone, the one that she saved especially for Ron.<br>"Nothing, I did nothing… I think…" said Ron already making his way down the stairs. "Yes Professor?" he asked, once he was on the same staircase as McGonagall.  
>"Since you are a prefect I need you to look after some of the first year students as their duelling club is cancelled." she said in her crisp, no-nonsense tone.<br>"But… But… yes professor." slumped Ron as he trudged back to Hermione on the stairs.  
>"What was that about?" said Hermione as soon as Ron was back to walking to the Gryffindor common room.<br>"She wants me to baby-sit the first years because duelling club is off." responded Ron, in the same dejected tone he used with Professor McGonagall.  
>"Well you've got twenty minutes and your on the fifth floor, may I suggest you get moving!" said Hermione, in the voice she used when there was a possibility she could be late for class.<br>"Oh shit!" yelled Ron, earning some curious glances before bolting down the stairs.

Twenty-five minutes later saw Ron running through the doors of the great hall, but this could barely be heard over the loud chatter of the first years. Ron, who had been known for making rush decisions that usually didn't end well, and this was one of them. "OI YOU LOT, SHUSH FOR A MOMENT!" yelled Ron. "Now, I can't be arsed with this, so you can all practice those simple spells, like disarming and the jelly-legs jinx, if anyone asks, I was here for the whole time." A sudden thought came to his mind, Malfoy would be the ideal person to get hit by such spells, serves him right for snogging Ginny. "Also, if any of you see Draco Malfoy, free to test those spells out on him, for the greater good y'know."  
>Ron glanced round and checked that the first years had been listening, which they had, and proceeded to walk out the great hall.<p>

XxXxXxX

A few hours later at dinner Ronald weasley was called to the head table. Professor Snape looked him straight in the eye and said "thankfully the duelling club has not only Gryffindor members, but slytherin also, and they have told me about your little plan, detention Weasley, immediately after dinner.

_**A/n Told you it was short, also Larry and his spork, Julius have company, in the form of John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. So another one bites the dust… reviews welcome, I have twenty! * squeals in over-excitement***_


	14. Hats are for all year round

_**A/n not much to say, sooo… Here is what keeps my evil mastermind at bay.**_

_33. I must not knee slide down the entire length of the head table to see the look on Snape's face. - George Weasley.  
><em>_34. I must not conjure joker hats and pink tails onto the professors whilst my brother is distracting them. - Fred Weasley  
><em>_35. I must not assist my brothers by making it impossible for the professors to take of the hats and tails for a week. - Ron Weasley_

"Brother dear, it's time we complete another of those wonderful dares, don't you?" asked George, reaching out for a bit of toast on Ginny's plate, she slapped away his hand and gave him a glare that could let anyone know she was related to Molly Weasley.  
>"Why yes brother, you remember the one Hermione gave us, honestly, that girl is much better company when she's drunk" that earned him a punch in the shoulder.<br>George, Fred and Ron waited until a particularly large group of fifth years stood up to leave the hall, so they would have a bit of cover to get to the head table. However the fact that all three Weasley's were at least a head taller than the fifth years they got quite a few unusual stares, particularly from the slytherin table, but as Draco Malfoy was sporting bright purple and red polka dots on his newly coloured blue skin, no-one dared speak up.

The trio made it to the head table, and George went straight to where Professor Sprout was sitting, at the left end of the table, Fred and Ron waited to the side of him. Bracing himself on Professor Sprout George climbed the table, smeared so much butter on his knees they were greasier than Snape's hair and propelled himself down the table. This caused many teachers to spill or drop whatever was in their hands, as no-one had ever had the nerve to do such a thing. It was as though the whole hall was holding its breath, not daring t move as the redheaded boy slid down the table. When he was very close to Professor Black he noticed that he was coming to a halt, so with all the dignity he could muster he began to scoot along the table. In the midst of such chaos no-one noticed when the two boys to the side started whispering spells.

Within seconds the teachers had sprouted hats, and not that they had noticed yet, tails. The hats ranged from a joker hat on Professor Lupin, to a fez on Professor Snape, with Dumbledore's fedora in the middle somewhere. That was when the laughter started. It began as a quiet rumble, but descended into a ferocious roar, even the slytherins joining in.

"What have you imbeciles done to me?" growled Professor Snape.  
>It was George that spoke up from his place on the wrecked table in front of Snape. "You all looked like you needed a laugh, so we thought it would be for the best", a triumphant smile across his face.<p>

"You thought wrong, DETENTION, all month, my office, seven o'clock sharp and that means al three of you, don't think I didn't hear you two over there." said Snape, his acidic tone threatening everyone within reach. Fred and Ron gulped.  
>"Ah, yes, well about that you see, we're already booked, so can we reschedule, maybe later on in the month say….." he looked to his brother, "the 28th?"<br>Snape was visibly fuming. "And why, prey tell, are you 'already booked' Mr Weasley ?"

"Well we've got the love potion incident," said Fred.  
>"And the thing with Ginny" grimaced Ron.<br>"And the other Ginny incident, you remember that one sir, with the letter saying -" George was cut off.  
>"Yes, carry on." glared Snape, clearly not wanting to be reminded.<br>"The balloon incidents" some of the first years winced in remembrance.  
>"Then the prophecy" laughed Fred, some others snickered. "And the striptease" he winked.<br>"Then there was you two on the stairs." he glanced at Remus and Sirius, Remus blushed.  
>"Don't forget the dog collar", more blushing on Remus' part.<br>"And the shampoo incident" came from Ron.  
>"ENOUGH!" throughout the entire explanation Snape had been getting redder and redder, until he exploded.<p>

"You will attend my detentions during lunchtime, two weeks." said Snape, clearly not amused. "One more word and it will be three. Now off to lessons."  
>The three walked off in silence, until Fred said "I wonder what's going to happen when they realise that they can't take the hats and tails off?"<p>

And then they heard Snape's shriek.

_**A/n: so how was it? It took a while but I've just had the funniest image in my head, a boy two years above broke the history teacher's light, so he was some how left wearing short shorts ( he was teaching P.E) and we just couldn't stop laughing because he is pretty chubby.**_


	15. Sheep are useful in ALL situations

_**A/n another short one here, my friend came up with the idea when we were in town walking past Ann summers (long story) so here it is!**_

_36. - I must not change all the brooms for the quidditch teams into inflatable sheep before a game. - Dean Thomas_

It was a Saturday morning and there was about an hour until the Ravenclaw vs. Slytherin match. Dean Thomas was sneaking around the changing rooms, looking for where the brooms were kept. Seamus Finnegan was on lookout outside the changing rooms, in case anyone came in. Seamus walked past the second row of lockers and found the Ravenclaw brooms.  
>Pulling out his wand he whispered "Dolor oves" pointing his wand at the brooms. In an instant they turned to sheep. Dean then left the changing rooms with Seamus and headed into the slytherin changing room to repeat the spell.<p>

Once done changing rooms, but the walked straight into Marcus Flint.  
>"What are you two Gryffindorks doing here?" he snarled.<br>"Well we…" started Dean.  
>"Well I was hoping to catch you down here alone, but then Dean got in the way." said Seamus.<br>"Why? Were you gonna try and take me one by yourself?" laughed Marcus.  
>"Not exactly, I… well I wanted to tell you that I thought you were… um… fit" Seamus mumbled. But Marcus heard, and paled. Dean was done he and Seamus decided to go straight to the stands, if there was a big match on the seats filled up really quickly so it was best to get there early. They were set to walk straight out of the<br>"Err well … excuse me…" Marcus shoved past them into the changing room.  
>Dean and Seamus encountered no one else on their way to the stands.<p>

The teams were about to fly out for the match, Dean and Seamus looked at each other in anticipation.

Lee announced the teams and the Ravenclaw came out first, and most obviously for a laugh they were riding the inflatable sheep. The captain, Anthony Goldstein, was always up for a laugh, so he would have probably agreed to ride the sheep for a laugh.  
>However the slytherin captain, Marcus flint chose to walk on to the pitch, refusing to ride the sheep and demanding brooms. But because it was a Saturday, and madam hooch knew exactly how long Marcus could argue for, gave them the brooms and the match began.<p>

With ducks, and dives and people zooming about the pitch no-one actually noticed when Draco Malfoy caught the snitch. The final score was 230:200; a very close match to both teams, but the slytherins had won the first game of the year. Their team was carried off the pitch in happiness, all the slytherins heading off the pitch and stands to celebrate, the rest of the crowd disappearing, leaving only Dean Thomas as he was beckoned over by Snape.

"I have heard from a very reliable source, that you were the one who changed the teams brooms, I do not want to hear any kind of excuse, only that you will be attending detention tomorrow afternoon in my office." snarled Snape, in his permanent bad mood.  
>"But its Hogsmede!" complained Dean.<br>"Well then Mr. Thomas, you should have thought about that shouldn't you." said Snape, his robes billowing in the wind as he stalked off.

_**A/n there's the next, also as an extra, do any of my amazing reviewers know any songs like Burn it to the ground - Nickelback? I'd be extremely grateful :)**_


	16. Is it not meant to be blue?

_**A/n This is my second favourite, but JJJS (the hobo) and his Spork Julius, love it, almost as muck as JJJS loves Ikea stuff. And also a trick I would love to do next time I have to go to hospital.**_

_37. I must not drink four litres of blue food colouring just before my annual school check up (pee-in-a-cup). - Fred Weasley  
><em>_38. I must not drink four litres of purple food colouring right before my annual school pee-in-a-cup. - George Weasley  
><em>_39. My whole family that are still students must not drink any amount of food colouring before the school pee-in-a-cup. - Ron weasley_

There was a large line stretching from the doors of the hospital wing to the entrance to the great hall. This could only mean one thing, Hogwarts check-up day. This was the day Madam Pomfrey made the whole school donate a sample to check their insides were okay. It was Fred Weasleys turn.  
>Madam Pomfrey simply handed Fred the cup and pointed at the hospital bathroom. He was out in less than a minute, and with a worried expression handed the cup to Madam Pomfrey.<br>She gasped "what have you done?" worriedly at the boy.  
>He simply smiled and said "what, It's not meant to be blue?"<br>McGonagall, who had been stood in the open doorway, keeping an eye on the children, briskly marched over, took one look at the sample and said to Fred " detention, you will make time, because you tried this trick some years ago when you started being sick in my classroom, in a rather luminous orange may I add."  
>Fred mock saluted and army-marched out the door.<p>

As they were lined up alphabetically, George was next. Madam Pomfrey gave him the same treatment, only stopping to ask "Is there something you should tell me?" looking George straight in the eye.  
>"Well, I had four slices of toast, some eggs, a banana and some pancakes for breakfast, and I like the colour purple. Anything more specific?"<br>"Have you eaten or drunk anything that may affect this test?" she asked, sighing.  
>"Well I suppose we'll just have to wait and see." he replied, before waltzing into the bathroom.<br>He also came out in under a minute, although his cup was a very vibrant violet. In fact it looked remarkably like Weasley Wizard Wheezes' staining solution.  
>Madam Pomfrey glared, and said "Your family are the only ones that make this difficult, go and get your detention."<br>Instead of marching like his brother George chose to waddle like a penguin keeping hold of an egg, McGonagall didn't have to say anything, just hand him the detention slip. So he continued his waddle to the great hall, where lunch was being served.

Next in was Ginny. She received her cup with a smile and scurried into the toilet. She soon came out, dropped the cup near Madam Pomfrey, and strolled out the hall. Madam Pomfrey took one glance at Ginny's cup and shook her head. The content was a well thought out, glowing yellow, that's how she knew she couldn't get a detention.

Finally it was Ron. He walked in and repeated the process of taking the cup and going to the bathroom. He came out, put down the cup, in which the content was that of a psychedelic rainbow. He also got handed a detention slip, along with a stern glare as he walked to the great hall.

_**A/n that felt really short, but I have a lot of German to do so enjoy! Also a shout out to Linnup, who always reviews (hint hint) and is generally uplifting. **_


	17. Uninvited to a party in my room?

_**A/n : sorry this took forever to get out, but I've recently got back from a skiing trip - no internet, and lots of dares, and I've been unpacking and packing for my next trip, so I'm going to try to get a few chapters out before I go again. **_

_40. I must not start a party in Draco Malfoy's private rooms, inviting all of the seventh years, then when he wakes up, kick him out because he is not invited. - Harry Potter, Fred, George, Ginny, and Ron Weasley._

It was a Sunday night, and Hogwarts School, for all those who could see, was surrounded in peaceful silence. But once you got past the silencing charms, the music was enough to deafen. Thanks to Hermione, who had modified an ipod, with speakers, so it worked in Hogwarts, the majority of Gryffindor students were having a party, the twist being that the party was being held in Draco Malfoy's private rooms, whilst he was sleeping. It was a surprise to most of the Gryffindors that Draco was still sleeping, despite the loud music pumping through the speakers.

The planners of this party, Ron and Harry, were smiling and enjoying the party, waiting for Draco to wake and the fun to begin. This happened at about five past midnight.

Draco began to stir, and upon waking, moved his hands to his ears to remove his headphones, sadly he found nothing. Opening his eyes he had to blink more than twice to make sure he was seeing correctly. He then said.  
>"What the fuck are you all doing in my rooms?" before standing and looking for his wand. Which Fred Weasley was spinning on his fingers.<br>"Well we were feeling a little bored, so we decided to have a party, and to change the scenery, we decided to do it in your rooms, oh, and by the way, your not on the guest list, so if you could get going, we will be able to continue our party." said Harry, with a slightly smug drawl.  
>"Give me my wand." growled Draco.<br>"Make me lover boy." teased Fred.  
>"I'll get Snape" threatened Draco.<br>"You wouldn't" said George.  
>"Don't challenge me." warned Draco as he waltzed out of the room. Stomping through the corridor Draco didn't notice the person he had barged past.<br>"Hey, Draco, what's wrong?" It was Ginny, who changed direction and walked along side Draco.  
>He couldn't help but notice the drinks in her hand.<br>"Let me guess, your going to the party?" he sneered.  
>"Well, yeah, but it was one of the dares on the train, I wasn't allowed to tell you sweetie, I'm sorry." she looked up at him questioningly before planting a kiss on his lips.<br>"Still going to Snape." he said, with a smile."You heartless bastard." she joked, before skipping back to his room.

Luckily enough for Draco, he found Professor Snape, strolling down the corridor, obviously knowing something was wrong.  
>"Sir, if you wouldn't mind. Potter decided to throw a party in my rooms. And he kicked me out." said Draco, a frown on his face.<br>"Follow me, Draco, the dunderheads deserve the detention." drawled Snape.  
>"Of course" said Draco.<p>

The two walked to Draco's rooms, where Snape flung open the door and silently cast a spell silencing the music, which could now be heard.  
>"Those who attended this party, five points from Gryffindor. Each. A groan could be heard around the room. "Now back to your rooms' immediately." the people trudged off to Gryffindor tower. "Not you lot." Snape said to Fred, George, Ginny, Ron and Harry. Hermione had left earlier in the evening; apparently she needed to study for an ancient runes test the next day.<br>"You all have created a party in the middle of the night, disturbed other students, and entered another house's rooms. Detention. All week, starting Monday." with that Snape. Flounced out the room, his cloak billowing.

_**A/n : there you go, I couldn't resist having Snape's cloak billow….. So I'm hoping for reviews…. Still hinting….. And thank you for the reviews/alerts/favourites on the last chapter.**_


	18. Why can't my robes sing!

_**A/n : next one up… not much to say, only that I hope everyone who reads this can get the same image in their head as I have. Also, this and a few of the next chapters will be very short, so I'll hopefully be posting more, because as anyone who has stuck with this story, should have noticed my posting is infrequent and unpredictable without warning. **_

_41. I must not charm professor Snape's robes to sing 'barracuda' when he walks in to a classroom. - Ginny Weasley_

Ginny was waiting outside of her potions class. She had been waiting there for at least ten minutes, and not even one person had passed by, especially not the one she was waiting for - Severus Snape. As soon as he left the potions room she could begin. For this excursion she had _borrowed _Harry's cloak of invisibility, _well borrowed without telling more like _she thought to herself. She had spent the last week noticing all the little things Snape did, and hopefully, without him noticing. She had noticed that he always sets out his potions ingredients right to left, and he always had an old, worn book, presumably one that he wrote all his discoveries in. But the main thing she had noticed was that when he set off to dinner he always left his outer robe in his class. The slam of a door interrupted her thoughts.

Snape had shut the door to his classroom and with one snide look down the hallway before stalking off to dinner. Ginny waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps before she slowly opened the door. She had learnt by now that strangely enough, Snape didn't lock or charm his door, probably on Dumbledore's orders, at all. She briskly walked into the class; her black Mary Jane's clicking on the floor. She shed the invisibility cloak and got to work charming Snape's robe. She only needed a 24 hour sticking spell, courtesy of Fred and George and she was done, in good time aswell because no sooner than her having put on the cloak did Snape storm back into the classroom, clutching a frightened second year, both of whom were covered from head to toe in colour changing jelly.

As soon as he had stormed in with the second year, Ginny was frozen. Sure she could take down death eaters twice her size, but sneaking out a room with a furious Snape, impossible,_ or was it? _A plan forming in her mind sheslowly bent down to undo the buckle of her left shoe. Gently easing the strap it came loose, and she managed to remove it silently. She then moved onto the right shoe, undoing the buckle and removing the shoe carefully.  
>"WHAT ON MERLIN'S NAME CAUSED YOU TO SPILL SUCH A VILE MESS, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE CHILD?" boomed Snape, fury written over his face.<br>Ginny was so startled she almost dropped the shoe, however she managed to keep hold of it, and resumed taking off the other shoe. Succeeding in this she held both shoes in her hand, and started to tiptoe out of the room, leaving Snape and the petrified second year. As soon as she was a good distance away, she slipped her shoes back on and made her way to the kitchens, _she was starving!_

XxXxXxX

The next morning, seventh year Gryffindors could be found trailing into potions, filled with caffeine to keep them awake for the hour. Moments after all the students had sat down, Snape stormed into the classroom, his billowing robes singing as soon as he stepped through the door.  
>"<em>Ooooooh barracuda" <em>could be heard repeatedly in a shrill high pitched voice, coming from Snape's robes. He glared at the robes, failing at silencing them. He instead shrugged off the robe and briskly walked to his desk. By now the robes had stopped singing, but Snape was curiously inspecting the hem. Ginny looked up at the robes from her notebook and to her horror she caught sight of a coppery-red strand of hair glinting in the lamplight. Sadly, so did Snape.

Using his fingers like tweezers he grasped the hair and raised it, to show the class.  
>"Well look here, I wonder who but such a spell on my robes? How many people in this room have long, red hair?" sneered Snape, moving closer and closer to Ginny. "One. Miss Weasley, I will be seeing you tonight at 8pm sharp for your detention, bring old clothes, you will be cleaning the cauldrons, no magic."<p>

_**A/n here you go, I am so so so so so so sorry for my disgraceful updating, please forgive me? **_


	19. Oh I can yodeladleeedleidleoo!

_**A/n not much to say really, just enjoy! Also, as I said, not all of these stories correspond, like this one; this takes place on the first day back. And I don't own the song. Sorry, but this is a really short one!**_

_42. I must not yodel during the speech of the start of term feast. - Draco Malfoy_

"Can I tell you how much I hate you?" asked Draco Malfoy, strolling to the great hall with Fred and George Weasley.  
>"Well you could…" started George.<br>"But think how disappointed our dearest, beloved, only sister would be." finished Fred.  
>"Fine, as long as I still get to see you two embarrass yourselves." replied Draco, opening the doors.<br>"Embarrass ourselves? No no, we've done much much worse than this…." smirked George, Fred smiling beside him.

They entered the great hall and sat down at their own tables, Draco nervously tapping his foot until Dumbledore's speech started. he wasn't really watching the sorthing, however he did notice Syltherin had a few more students, the majority girls...  
>"To our new students this year, welcome to Hogwarts please, think of it as your home but please refrain from wearing slippers outside of your common rooms, as this is a school. To our returning students welcome back, you should know the rules by now, however much you ill advisedly choose to ignore them." Dumbledore's own twinkling eyes met both Fred and George's shining ones. "May I remind all students that the forbiden forest is forbiden for a reason, and to those who can visit hogsmede on weekends, a list will be on the notice boards in your common rooms as of what not to buy from Zonkos, and Weasleys' Wizard Whee-" Dumbledore was cut off by Draco rising form his seat, climbing onto the table and clearing his throat before singing:<p>

"I sure can yodel-adle-eedle-idle  
>Yodel-adle-eedle-idle<br>Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo!

Yes, I can yodel-adle-eedle-odle  
>Yeah, I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-odle<br>Oh I can yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo!  
>Yodel-adle-eedle-idle-oo!"<p>

By this point most of the great hall had tears streaming down their eyes, from holding the laughter in, and those who hadn't bothered to hide the laughter were clutching their sides in fits of laughter.  
>"Ah, mister Malfoy, as wonderfully astounding and quite unexpected as that was, I'm afraid I will have to give you a detention, so that would be my office, tomorrow evening at 7pm please, I'm ever so partial to fizzing whizzbees.<br>With that he announced dinner throughought which and Draco got quite a few curious looks from the other students, as he silently ate his dinner, glaring at Fred and George all the while.

_**A/n: I know I haven't updated in ages, so forgive me and send me lots of honest reviews? ;) and I'll now try to upload as soon as possible, but I'll be away for a while, with no laptop... :( **_


	20. Don't touch her homework EVER

_**A/n: Please drop your pitchforks! I'm so sorry! I was kinda preoccupied with ficwad, MCR and the misfits please take my apology! Thank you to those who have reviewed/favourite/put me on alert, and even if you read the story and did none of those, (and I know people have, because I can see how many people have viewed the story) still thanks! And onto the story! Also, I missed this out the first time i uploaded, so thanks to whoever reviewed under Guest, if you go to the end of the next chapter, you will find all my thank yous!**_

_43. I must not sell Hermione's homework to the students for a profit. - Ron Weasley  
><em>_44. I must not curse Ronald Weasley outside of potions. - Hermione Granger_

"Ron! Have you got that essay for Snape yet? Class starts in twenty minutes!" whispered Seamus Finnegan, not wanting to alert the situation to anyone else in the corridor.  
>"Oh, uh yeah, let me get it out my bag, and that's 16 sickles, Seamus" said Ron, reaching behind him into his bag for the papers.<br>"What? That was only ten last time!" exclaimed Seamus, still swapping the money for the papers.  
>"Yeah, well last time I was a bit preoccupied with the whole Voldemort-is-going-to-take-over-the-world-thing, and 'Mione is getting suspicious, and if she catches me, you'll owe me a hell of a lot more than 16 sickles mate." replied Ron, whispering almost silently when he was talking about Voldemort.<p>

Even though he was completely dead, the never coming back kind of dead, people still shuddered when his name was mentioned, that, and he was outside of Snapes class, who had got through a load of shit for Voldemort and the light side, so naturally he wasn't that keen on the name.

"Speak of the devil" Seamus muttered, as Hermione walked around the corner, deep in conversation with Ginny, _probably something to do with shoes, or homework_ thought Ron.  
>"Hey Ron, Seamus, neither of you happened to have seen Hermione's homework? This is the sixth one to go missing, and we've only been back a few weeks!" asked Ginny, her confusion clear.<br>"W-what? No, haven't seen any homework, none, nada, nope." stuttered Ron, but since Ron wasn't the best liar, he had turned beet red at this point, a shade much much darker than his hair.

"You checked the common room?" asked Seamus, not cracking in the slightest, unlike Ron, who was chewing his lip so viciously he was in danger of chewing a hole in it. "Ronald Weasley you tell me right now what you've done with my practice homework" hissed Hermione, so venomously Ron, Seamus and several others backed up a few paces.  
>"I-I mejinjhdhunbuoiashdmmony" mumbled Ron.<br>"What?" she seethed.  
>"I might have sold it for money… but it's your 'practice homework' why would you need that?" asked Ron, diverting the subject.<br>"Doesn't matter," she glared.

"See, really you should thank me for selling it, because it's just getting rid of excess paper for a good cause!" smiled Ron, his usually smirk coming into place.  
>"I DID NOT SAY I WAS FINISHED RONALD. LEVICORPUS!" she yelled at Ron, who was currently dangling in mid air by his ankle, with a very shocked look on his face.<p>

"What in the name of Merlin is going on here?" drawled Snape, strolling out of the potions class room, his robes billowing behind him.  
>"He sold my homework, Professor, for a profit behind my back!" seethed Hermione, glaring at the upside-down Ron.<br>"Well she dangled me upside down!" complained Ron, starting to see black spots from all the blood rushing to his head.  
>Snape waved his arms and Ron landed with a thump on the stone floor.<br>"Fucking hell!" exclaimed Ron, pain shooting through his head, of which he had just landed on.  
>"Language Weasley. And detention, the idea in a school is to learn, however hard this might be for your feeble little minds, homework is not to be copied." he then turned to a smugly smiling Hermione, "Wipe that smirk of your face, detention for you aswell for causing such a ruckus, and ten points from Gryffindor." and with that he marched back into the room, it had been a few minutes and nobody had moved into the classroom, most were shocked that Hermione had got a detention - and she wasn't even crying. She was glaring at Ron as though her eyes could melt through his skin though…<br>"What are you blithering idiots waiting for" barked Snape, from the classroom.

**_Later that night:_**

Going through the homework was usually a tedious task for Severus Snape, tonight was no different, all the essay were lacking the correct description, full of stupid grammar mistakes, and in the case of miss granger, in need of shortening, he usually ignored all the drawings and doodles in the margins of the homework, however tonight a certain one caught his eye. In the bottom right corner of the paper there was a bold red love heart, with the initials SS in cursive in the middle, Severus mentally racked his brains to think of someone in the school who also had those initials, but came up blank. He glanced to the top to see whose paper it was, and you can imagine his shock when he saw that it said 'Seamus Finnegan'.

_**A/n: did you hate it? Did you actually like it? Or did you get really bored and skip to the bottom because you love to read what I put here? Doubtful - I know. But review, preeeeety please, review will stop me reading so many frerard fics? - For a while anyway hehe…**_


	21. So you don't want me to lick you, Huh?

_**A/n: hello, my wonderful people, thank you for the reviews, the alerts and the favourites, you're all awesome, and you lot who just read it, PLEASE REVIEW IT! I'll give you cookies and hobos! On to the story! And I think this one is going to be completely different from the rest, as of the Fred/Hermione, however, if you review with a different opinion… ;)**_

_45. I must not lick people in class to see if I can taste them. - Fred Weasley  
>46. I must not lick anyone whatsoever. - Fred Weasley<em>

"Hey, Fred, remember that dare I gave you, about five minutes after Harry passed out?"  
>"OI, I didn't pass out! You were too drunk to remember your own name so I don't know what you're on about" denied Harry, blushing furiously.<br>"Anyway, when Mr I-can't-hold-any-alcohol is finished, do you remember?" laughed George, strolling down the corridor with Harry and Fred, on their way to transfiguration.  
>"You mean the one where I have to-" started Fred<br>"Yep, that one"  
>"Now?"<br>"What's wrong with now?"  
>Fred stared at his brother, "well we've got McGonagall, and she'll murder me!"<p>

"I will do nothing of the sort Mister Weasley, however if you do not hurry up and get to my class, I'm sure I can organise some extra work with Professor Snape, if that's what you're looking for," said Professor McGonagall, who was right behind them.  
>"oh, uh, I'm fine Professor, I've still got lots of uh, um, stuff to do" mumbled Fred, picking up his pace to class, grabbing George who, in turn grabbed Harry, as not to loose him in the crowd.<p>

The trio settled down in class, Harry in the middle next to Ron, and Fred and George next to each other in a corner at the back. During their previous years at Hogwarts, they preferred to be at the back of a class, usually asleep, so the teachers wouldn't notice them. However with Professor McGonagall, this was not the case.

Professor McGonagall stood in front of her desk, and began to instruct the class how to turn a needle into a colour changing quill, that worked properly. George gave Fred a look as if to say 'Do it now, while she's focused on something else.'Fred pulled back his chair and, staying on the same level as he had been on his chair, shifted across the room, watching out for McGonagall, who was completely absorbed in her lecture, not noticing the sneaky look the Weasley twin had on his face.

He crept forwards and, deciding this would be the best possibly reaction, quickly licked the side of Hermione's face, the latter not noticing Fred until it was too late, as they were as engrossed in the lecture as the teacher was.

However as soon as Fred's tongue had hit Hermione's face, she whipped round and screamed "MERLIN, WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT - FREDERICK WEASLEY WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" making the entire class, bemused looks upon their bored faces, however, Professor McGonagall turned towards Hermione and Ginny's desk, and spoke calmly "what is going on here?" her curt Scottish accent clipping the words more than anyone else would.

"He licked me!" said Hermione, shock clearly evident in her tone,  
>"Did not!"<br>"Did too!"  
>"Did not!"<br>"Did too!"  
>"Did too!"<br>"See, I told you he licked me Professor," smirked Hermione, knowing she had won.  
>"But I wanted to know if I could, uh, taste something, completely for research purposes" countered Fred, hoping it would sway the argument. It didn't.<br>"Mr Weasley, do not lick people in my class. Detention!" spoke the teacher, and by the tone she used, you could see it would be the final words on the matter.

**- Later on in the day, in Charms.**

"I'm sitting where I can see you, so don't you dare get that thing out anywhere near me!" growled Hermione, angry that she had missed part of the transfiguration lesson, due to what she had now labelled, 'that disgusting incident'.  
>"Well 'that thing' will most obviously stay in my trousers, what kind of man do you think I am Hermione? You have a boyfriend! Who is one of my brothers, I would never!" Fred looked appalled as he said this; however nothing got rid of the mischievous glint in his eyes.<br>Hermione growled and stormed over to her desk, flinging her bag on the ground.

They all settled down into their chairs, and found out they would be doing some book work today, so wouldn't need any wands, only quills, parchment and books. HHermione was, once again, engrossed in her work, so Fred took the chance; she was on the right side of the desk this time, so he was hoping she wouldn't expect him to still go for her left cheek. So, repeating the process of the last lesson, Fred found himself next to Hermione; however he paused to utter a few words in her ear. "_Y'know, if you want me __**that**__ badly, you can always meet me in my dorm, you know which it is.'  
><em>After which, he quickly licked her cheek, in a more seductive way than last time, before ducking backwards, so she didn't hit him.

"FRED WEASLEY WILL YOU STOP LICKING ME!" yelled Hermione, once again, the class turned around, along with a very pissed Ron Weasley.

"Why are you licking Miss Granger, Mr Weasley?" asked Professor Flitwck.  
>Fred smirked, "Because sir, she just tastes so good."<br>"You can add another hour to your detention Weasley, Professor McGonagall informed me of your last lesson."

-**Way, Way later in the evening…**

Hermione slowly made her way up the staircase to the boy's dorms, after the charms lesson, Ron had pulled Hermione and Fred aside and demanded to know what was going on between them, obviously, they both denied everything, however Ron didn't fully believe them, and as one thing led to another, and Hermione and Ron ended up breaking up as, to Hermione anyway, they hadn't been getting along that well since the war, and really, it was more of a spur of the moment thing anyway.

Pulling herself out of her thoughts, she knocked on the door of the highest dorm in Gryffindor tower, Well in the boys half anyway, she prayed to Merlin that George wasn't in there, as that would be a very awkward situation to explain. But her prayers were answered when Fred opened the door wide, no sight of his twin in the small dorm.  
>"Uh, hey" she said, suddenly very nervous. But Fred smiled a warming smile at her, taking her arm, pulling her into the room and shutting the door softly.<br>"Hey there"

_**A/n: well tell me what you guys think, I know this one is a little different, but I kinda like Hermione/Fred… they just seem good together, but feel free to voice your opinions in reviews, thank you guys so much for sticking with me, even though I am such a bad person for not updating for weeks, and to Linnup, do you still get the pm's? (I had to put an apostrophe there, or it would've looked awkward…) and you're awesome for still being there! x **_

_**Note: Right, so sorry, I forgot to upload the last chapter, but it's fixed now, thanks to who ever reviewed under 'Guest' also, a HUGE shout to EVERYONE who has read this, 3,400 views, when you take off all the time's i've had to check! then another shoutout to. : QuinnStormTwilight, Linnup,JackSpicersBitch1, Digi-assasin, AleydisEcho, Animefreak167 (i guess this is your name, you weren't logged in), TheGarbadeCanIsNotAMonster, MarauderDraconis, LightningBoltScarsAndMe, Pikami, That lazy girl called steve, STR8JAKET, Ginny's cool 1999, and awprincess98, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!**_


	22. Up for a greasy haired ginger army?

47. I must not tell professor Snape I want his babies. - Ginny Weasley  
>48. I must not describe our babies to professor Snape. - Ginny Weasley<p>

"Settle down you heathens!" snarled Professor Snape, storming into the dimly lit dungeon classroom, silencing the students in his wake. "Page two hundred and fourteen in your books, ingredients are on the board, if one of you so much as dares to put a quill out of line they shall find him or herself in detention for the week", he instructed, before pulling out his chair and bending over some scrolls.

The warning would have been taken much more seriously, if it hadn't been repeated practically every potions lesson since first year.

Whilst unpacking all the equipment she needed Ginny Weasley thought this would be the best moment to get yet another dare over and done with, and while the rest of the class pushed towards the tables with the ingredients, she instead decided to waltz over to her professor's desk.

He didn't notice her arrival, as his head was bent over yet another pile of first year essays. _Gillyweed inside an invisibility potion? Dear Merlin what on earth have I gotten myself into? _In retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to leave a class of seventh years alone, as so far into the term, he, and subsequently the rest of the staff, had noticed a certain mischievous glint in practically all the students eyes. It was although they were all keeping a secret. However, they all managed to get caught doing their mischief...

"Professor Snape, have I ever told you how much I would love to have your children" she cooed, a sickeningly sweet smile plastered upon her face.

"What? What is the meaning of this Weasley?" said Snape, astounded.  
>"I'm sure you heard me perfectly well Sir, can't you imagine small smiling children, my red hair, your dark eyes? Or your hair and my eyes, or perhaps-"<p>

"ENOUGH Weasley. I am in no mood for your trickery, go back to your work, do not disturb me again, and report here at 7 O'clock sharp this evening for detention."

"So is that a no to triplets?" she smirked and winked seductively, although it made her insides churn, it was worth the look her professors face gained.

_**A/n: look what i found... enjoy..**_


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